1. make a list of all the things you want in a guy and DON'T have a person you already know in mind when you write it (you're totally being girl 0.5) and TRY not to do physical things.
2. screw that list up, burn it in a fire, get naked dance around it, do some tribal shit, get hella into it and realise that no ones fucking perfect and you'll be lucky if he fits half of your criteria.
here, i'll go first.
- be funny, hilarious, absolutely the funniest person in the room cracking jokes ha ha ha ha ha i want to die he makes me laugh so hard that a little bit of wee nearly comes out EVERY time.
- have nice hair, so so so so so so so so important. i want to touch that shit when we make out i want to look at it while i nearly piss myself at your jokes.
- smell fuckin yum, yeah yeah this shit's cliche but he should have a scent or something. i ain't talkin no b.o business here - i'm not a jock hunter. like a musky confident clean sexy smell that makes me want to jump him every time we're together because yeah, he smells mean.
- have his own friends and life, i don't want to be your whole world - seriously fuck that it means that i won't get to have mine. a little bit of freedom and privacy is always nice and healthy.
- be a bit of a dick, i don't really like nice boys, or sensitive ones, actually i don't know what type i like. i just know i'm pretty much into guys who ignore me and fuck me off, though it's a nice challenge when i can compete for funniness with someone, just someone who isn't boring.
- be my friend, because this whole romantic shit will only go so far, and lets be real. they're just a friend that you can do waaay funner stuff with than your regular (girl)friends..
- know what he wants to do in life and make shit happen, whatever it is. i don't care. just make sure it's what you wanna do. if you want to be unemployed - own it!
- be mysterious and have all these things that you have to work for to find out about him, like every time he tells me something about himself it will feel like a privilege and shouldn't be taken for granted - he's getting all vulnerable and un-manly so this shit should not be taken lightly. if he's way too open about his feelings/past/secrets there's no mystery.
- be honest and never ever ever ever talk about me to my friends in a negative way. total shit hitting the fan situation. he can bitch about me to his friends (fairs fair). just not mine.
..and so i undress and dance