0.5: the girl we all hate to be
ALL BOYS SHOULD FUCK OFF NOW. apologies, but this has to be done and it's never coming up again.
i'll bitch about this hating boys shit as long as i want but lets be as serious as anal rape when i say that every teenage girl has felt like this/acted this way (unless you were legit anal raped, then you will totally not feel this way towards guys). the girl we all hate to be is PARANOID and FREAKISHLY OBSESSED even if it is secretly. she can be the girl that is actually pretty fucking cool but lets a guy treat her like shit because they think it's different! or he's different! or they're a god damn fool and think they're in some grease movie expectin some kind of carnival of life to end their little romance where it "has just begun", or a girl who's heart giggles a little when a guy touches her or calls her babe - oh for fucks sake please can we just take a minute to discuss how if a guy calls you babe he's automatically into you, oh wait he's not, congrats though - you've found a clever one. he's caught on to that stupid idiotic side of girls (i love you i love you female specimen but it's there and it's lurking please try your hardest to fight it) that causes them to just ASSUME that because a boy calls you something or looks at you a certain way that he's keen to meet your parents, write a love song about both of you or just straight up wants to kiss on ya feline friend. tragic, so tragic, but i'm gonna put my hand up here, wave it a little and now shamefully put it down, i've totally been this person multiple times oh my god. i think it's some kind of ugly version of yourself that makes you insanely vulnerable and willing to believe anything a guy says or does just so you can feel wanted.
dear girl 0.5
if you've known him for like a week, and he's texting you shit with babe/hon/hun/sweety/bub thrown in there - please, remove yourself from the situation. does he also wear boardies and sneans? if the answer is yes, delete the number right now. if he's you're boyfriend.. good on you, you are no longer single and this blog is no longer for your type of people. if you actually think he's just being cute - then you're in the right place, keep reading. by breaking the one week babe wall he's totally just opened himself up for destruction (stupid boy.. stupider than normal) from now on he will be the topic of all of your conversations - yeah you know what im talking about girls. everything he says will now be analysed, how many x's? how many times he calls you these 'pet-names' (yeah exactly, call ya fucking animal this shit not a person). you want to name drop him into every single conversation you get, you want to text him allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the time, when you're lying in bed at night you imagine him spooning you (holy fuck i can't believe im admitting this shit) or even better! GETTIN YO PASH(+) ON, AND you totally imagine having sex with them don't even deny that you don't because you do. here's the thing, this is such a lame side to being a girl. just try your hardest to be a good bitch no emotion girl - you'll fail, but keep this shit under wraps.. just know that you're not alone and yes even the chicks who pretend that they don't care - care a little bit. bottom line is you're a girl and these feelings will come and they'll freak the shit out of you, fuck you off, make you all giddy and stuff over a fucking text AND IT'S UNAVOIDABLE (atleast try cover it up with some 'one of the boys' type insane swearing or shit talk)
ps. there is a tiny part of me that wants to stab my vagina at how embarrassing this shit is.
pps. then i remember that i am the only one that can fully satisfy a guy without his hand getting cramp or friction rash.