0.6: the pancake girl
(name thanks to lydia)
she's not a bitch per say. she's just half a bitch. she's that burnt side of the burger, the ugly one in the relationship, the little nag you get when you're having fun and you feel guilty. pancake girl will flip when she wants to be your friend and flip back when she doesn't. someone needs to tell her to get her fucking ass out of the clouds and realise that being a friend isn't a part time thing. it's not something you can just switch on and off. because if this shit was true - we'd all be friends with everyone - we would, look, we'd be friends with one chick, then enemies with her the next, besties with her enemy then enemies with your ex friend. it's confusing, it's bullshit. if you're sitting there nodding, a little worried that you are a pg - don't be ashamed, girls bitch, they do, even the nicest girls in the world have some pretty sweet bitch pipes in them. just get a diary or a burn book, or a voodoo doll ..
here's the thing, it's some big secret that people don't want to accept but we need to if we're going to move on.. IT'S OK to not want to be friends with someone anymore. i repeat fine. who are you to force and fake the relationship when you secretly hate them? when everything they say makes you want to rip your insides out of your nose? lets be real, i'd rather just stop being friends with someone, and have a neutral passer by "hey" relationship than one where i have to question everything she says because i wonder if they said something the total opposite to someone else. this goes for me too, it's shit when you bitch about someone then are friends to their face. you feel guilty and what's the point exactly? why are you hanging out with them if you hate them so much. it also allows your friendship to be remembered on good terms more of a hey remember when we (insert fun shit here) rather than 'i fucking hated that bitch she was a shit friend".
i think that girls have to bitch, it's fucking shit. it's the worst thing they/we do because we just hate on each other and usually we hate on chicks for what guys do? whatever, if you're gonna bitch. do it to someone you know won't go tell (this advice is pointless). make sure you always say "i dont HATE them, i just don't like what they've been doing" - this way, if it ever gets back to them you can tell them that you hated that they slept with your bf on various occasions then told you that you were besties .. but hey, i don't hate cha" the h word is harsh i know, it's my favourite. BUT, if this friend is really worth it - they're one of those friends you do actually love to bits and you just get really pissed off with them alot - tell them when you have a problem with them - then the story won't get mushed up, you can be as witty as a mother fucker and pat cha self on ya back when you burn them etc etc. it works, you can have an open relationship with them where you know that sometimes you need a break, you can outwardly say "you're pissing me off" (im fa reals, i have a friendship like this we take regular breaks and when we get back together it's sweet)
dear girl 0.6
friends are like nappies, there's disposable and cloth - the cloth friends will last forever, through all that shit and piss. through all the asshole moments. disposable friends are cheap, uncomfortable, and you know, you just know right from the start that they won't last long. don't be a pancake, jus throw the friend out nicely and find some cloth because the longest friendships where you don't need to start again, or learn anything new about them are the best. it's un-awkward and there are no surprises. bottom line, rather than being a two faced piece of shit how about you just accept that you don't want this person in your life, and realise that without them in it - the need for this negative shit talking will not exist.
ps. sorry this is a little all over the place..
pps. don't worry, everyone's guilty of being a pancake girl