GIRL TYPES 101
0.2: the depressed single girl (DSG)
(no guys.. not me..) if you're still at high school - holy shit nothing matters, if it includes boys then it probably feels like the world will end and you'll be single forever which, yeah you probably will IF YOU THINK LIKE THAT. people aren't into other people who aren't into themselves! now don't listen to me too hard because my singleness is pretty much the joke of my life, i own it, it's funny, being single is fun.. (but seriously it is, if i think of all the things that come with being in a relationship.. like having a best friend and someone to love you and kiss you and shit it just seems fucking lame and annoying.. who am i kidding everyone wants to be liked and shit but there's alot that comes with it) LIKE fighting! and what - having to balance with friends! and having to satisfy them when you're real tired - yeah that's right, having to laugh at their jokes when they're not funny - like all da time, having to defend them when your friends dont like them and straight up just the whole penis thing is gross. haha jk. but really.
dear girl 0.2
the DSG will always want a boyfriend. she is often in relationships and as soon as she is out of them it's like bloody world war how many times shes been single and you better watch out cos she on da prowwwwwwwwwwl!WE ALL know one of these girls. they're annoying, desperate and you wonder if they could possibly survive living without being in a relationship. seriously, FUCK YOU. you deserve what you get here, if you say you love someone off the bat - this is gonna freak the shit out of them. YES 2 weeks is too early. YES it's creepy if you text it after he asked you out OVER text (CUUUTE/shit on your face). ahhh i cannot stress how much i want to knock some Aretha (jk not her, i thought of her because she's so ghetto fab and all, i'm a woman respect me but then i realised she had songs about guys making her feel like a natural woman wtf lady, what were you before? unnatural? ) into these bitches faces and pee on them! do you really identify yourself as someone who was only put on this earth to find someone else? nooooo noooo noooo. you were put here to live your life and not worry about that SHIT. LOVE WILL COME. whether it be in the form of a bastard child, a man (god forbid!), a woman, a cow (i hate animals but hey i heard some guy got frisk with one so..) or oh i dunno - friends. be patient.
love might not even be a real thing anyway. so you might be looking for something that doesn't even exist! wouldn't that just make you want to shit on every boy who's said it to you just to get a taste of your cherry pie.
ps. respect to aretha franklin you still a good laday.