hate lists, friend girl shit and what i think i know about life

19.11.11

**THINGS BOYS NEED TO KNOW. **
i'm a bitch so don't take this shit seriously, seriously

1.
don't cry. lets be real why the fuck should a girl have to comfort you ALL the time. and i say ALL the time because boys who cry once often cry ALL the time. seriously, if you want to cry ALL the time, why don't you replace it with something more useful, and normal, like wanking, or eating, or wanking, seriously it's allgood if you wana wank ALL the time, just make sure you thinking about me comforting you as you cry ALL the time, it's like you get your comforting satisfaction without bothering anyone else AND you still get water works, or a creamy mess. whatever.

2.
good things take time. i know it only takes you a good 2 minutes to come, but for some - they actually like to reach the 5 minute mark every once and a while.

3.
if someone doesn't have a facebook or they don't know what jersey shore is, they're automatically so much fucking hotter. ooh you don't know who snooki is, you so mysterious, i could quote lines from mtv thinking i was funny and you'd never know. "so we'd been poking for a solid month now and i just didn't know what would come next" (he's thinking come? i know what's gona fuckin come). anyway, don't we all just want to not have facebook sometimes, i always go to delete mine, i think of the free time i'd have and how people would actually make an effort if they wanted to hang. but then i think of the satisfaction i get when i hit the 50 likes on a status. ha ha ha sorry guys my heads a little large.

4.
read up on the body language. when you're making out/ldping/sexing/watching each other masty.. (i dunno some kids like that) - if she gets all limp and defenseless then take it as a sign to get all dominating and shit, (note: she may also have passed out from yo massive PENIS, so make sure you know how to resuscitate ) but if she's all roar i'm a lion king let me ruffle ya feathers, let her for a bit it probs turns her on. just know that the limp thing should never stay too limp for long, (this applies to more things than just her body..).

5.
if you can't grow a legit mo just don't fucking grow one. pedophiles are real and you're just making reality that much more unbearable for all of us. seriously what are you trying to achieve with that nasty fuzz on the top of your lip. just WAIT i'm sure it will get to legit mo growing thickness in no time. but for now. PLEASE, just please, keep it clean. But if you can grow a legit mo, then by all means go for it we all like a bit of mexicana brightening up our day.

6.
look like justin bobby. google him. study up. that's all a woman needs right there. UGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO SEXY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY

7.
don't have justin bobby's personality (well do, i love that arrogant mysterious thing but it's pretty cunty (cringe).

8.
be yourself, don't try too hard (unless you're trying not to cry - keep trying) and just accept that girls are the better sex in life. shame, your mums vagina owns you.


xo fg

1 comment:

  1. "i could quote lines from mtv thinking i was funny and you'd never know" omgosh you are a genius hahahhaahahaaaahahhaa

    ReplyDelete