TO THE FACE/3
short (like him) and sweet (like you)
KITTEN HEELS ARE NOT OKAY ANYMORE.
meow young and mighty feelin too proud with your pussy heels on. you may or not be able to relate to the heightened feeling of accomplishment that you can walk in your 3cm high shoes but seriously. i understand. i remember my first pair of heels they were some very (very) cool strappy black slutty fake leather i don't even know probably dog skin kind of mess and i wore them to every ball and party and i found it terribly hard to walk and "omg i wuz nt drunk my he3ls wer just rel hi lol!". firstly, i still have them. secondly, i hope to pass them on to my first child whether it be girl or boy they will be forced to wear them while i throw PLATFORMS at the kid just so i can reinforce the idea that kitten heels mean pain. pain in the feet, pain in social status, and just general pain in the ass for people having to look at you. can you just not? hunny i have size 11 feet and i still manage to decent footwear (or i fuckin squeeze that shit) none of this 'kitten heels are all that fits me right now" - i will not accept
YE OLD DEBATE OF LEGGINGS
leggings were created for many purposes, accentuating your fanny flaps was not one of them. now don't get me wrong i'm bloody glad to see you have a crevice in the right place and all but fa reals girl? i don't like animals and i sure as HELL don't like no camel! perhaps you would like to walk around with a chiffon singlet on with no bra on? because thats the kind of violation im feeling right now ok. i'm seeing vagina and i'm getting sweaty, not happy sweaty, panic sweaty (as in does this still seriously happen? am i really being forced to stare at her fanny line right now? does she realise i can probably guess the depth of her flaps right now?). oh man, i get it - when you're tired at home you want to rock the cam. that's fine! but in public? i mean COME ON, IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO FIND A TOP THAT COVERS YOUR VAGINA. it only has to be 5cm longer than a normal top (no, probably longer but i'm from hamilton). oh man there's only one thing worse than someone who wears leggings as pants. and that's someone who wears leggings as pants with kitten heels.
CLOTHES WHAT CLOTHES!
guys it happened, i finally did it, i slept naked the whole night without chickening out. i used to talk about this whole nude sleeping thing with my guy friends and they played it out as this real normal thing and i tried it a few times but freaked out at how easy it would be for me to just wee and shit right there in my bed with no sort of underwear barrier.. not that i would shit and wee anyway, just that it was way more possible whilst naked. anyway, i would get into bed and be all ooh so calm ooh so free ooh so.. nah can't do this shit and i'd get up and put some clothes on. one time i slept with no top on but that was just me doing a half assed job. but wow! holy shit! it was so mean, i felt so free and there was no undies up my ass when i woke up. no singlet strangling my face, just blanket and me, me and my blanket. try it if you haven't. boom.
FUCK YEAH PUSSY SLAYA
ok what the fuck. you're totally aloud to talk yuck like this if you're a girl i'm so over having to pretend to be all girly and shit. i can say this if i want and so can you. if you want to say you got a pounding the other night you fuckin can! (haha hello friend who told me this) how else will describe it? "we made love in the most aggressive way" NAAH FUCK THAT. you got slammed and i want to hear all about it. nah ok that's pretty ott and a bit gross but you get what i mean. guys are aloud to be flippin metro with their showering and wiping their ass (wtf since when did males have a hygiene conscience) so it's only fair i can talk explicitly seeing as this is something only males are supposed to do. word to ya mathas come on gals.